pinkwaterlily's Journal

12:42pm: I love it when I finally find a good answer for something...
The whole AIDS thing is really scary. It's presence has certainly affected the way I behave. I'll let you all figure out how. And I feel very lucky to have passed through my stupid young days without having caught it.

There are, of course, conspiracy theories abounding about the origins of the virus. Some say that it was actually a deliberate release into the African population. Some kind of germ warfare. Well, according to what I read to day, it's possible to trace the origins of HIV-1 in human populations back to 1931, and HIV-2 to the 1940s. Considering the structure of DNA was not even known until the 1950s or so, it's unlikely any human scientist designed the virus for warfare. The first instance of HIV from a stored blood serum dates to 1959.

It may even be possible that since the Simian version of HIV, SIV, does not negatively affect it's host monkeys, but IS devastating to humans and other kinds of monkeys, that the host monkeys are actually survivors of a previous SIV pandemic. They're what's left.

For more information, check here: PUBLIC HEALTH: ON THE ORIGIN OF AIDS http://scienceweek.com/2004/sc041126-6.htm

10:05am: Something about my lifestyle isn't working
When I first started tutoring, I had this idea that I'd be able to bike to all my lessons. That they'd be conveniently within downtown. And, that I'd be able to make enough money just tutoring. Well, I have about the cheapest rate for an apartment that you could get in Ottawa. The only thing I could do to make it cheaper would be to live like a student and have a room in a house, a house shared with a bunch of people. I've been there and done that, and I'd rather not do it again. Somehow having my own place does more for my dignity. I wouldn't mind sharing with one other person, if we could work it out.

Well, I'm bussing to all my lessons, cause I have to look professional, and because they're all over the city. And I'm getting tired of it. Sure, I can read on the bus. And sometimes this is great. But I'm also getting annoyed that all my classes are between 3 and 8 pm at night. Except for one I have three mornings a week. That one class eats up my entire morning! So, I'm missing productivity time. Not getting enough classes due to logistics, and missing out on a lot of evening stuff around the city. Even the free stuff. And I'm not getting enough time with friends and family. By the time I get home at night, all I want to do is eat supper, chill and go to bed. Whine whine whine. I know. And I don't have kids or even any pets to look after. But I do have a growing relationship, and his pets.....

So, now I find myself wanting a 9 to 5 job again. I had one for two years in Korea. I hated being chained to my desk between classes, especially when I'd done all the preparing and game-making I could do. So I surfed the net. Did some research. Found some stuff out. Got into learning disabilities. But, when I'd go home at night, all of my friends were working, cause they worked at the academies, and didn't finish till 8. And then they too were tired. So, I went to an exercise/meditation class every night. That was ok. But I guess I was kind of lonely, and isolated. I thought, if I come back to Korea, I'm going to live in Seoul next time, so at least I could go to the evening cultural events. But I was too tired of Korea in general. Too tired of sticking out of the crowd. And I missed my friends and family at home. It's been nice seeing them. I miss my friends in Korea too, but not enough to return to live. Enough to visit sometime
though.

I think I want more stability, with slots for fun. So, a 9-5 job will give me that. I may end up being a classroom teacher, teaching chemistry to a bunch of high school students. I'd do my best of course. But really I want to be an educational therapist. Regardless, stability, benefits and a chance to get to my hobbies and do nice things for my friends (I have a bunch in the works!!! No money. No time.) would be nice. That instead of just staying afloat.

To get that 9-5 job, the best route seems to be to go to Teacher's college. Wish me luck folks, the competition is hot, but it seems to be the route where I can experience the most success. And I am a Capricorn after all!

1:59pm: Some progress on Grandparenting.....
There are some great books out there....

I'd like to have this one:

Grandpa Told Me..things your father meant to tell you. Joe Baker. Joe Baker & Associates, 14152 Chagall, Irvine California 92714-1806.

Author Joe Baker has written this creative book full of wisdom and down-to-earth, relevant advice "not just to my grandsons, but also to those of you who did not get a chance to know your own grandfathers, and to those who knew their grandfathers but are not real sure of just what it was their grandfathers told them or were trying to tell them." There are sections giving advice on money, education, clothes, recreation, possessions and lots more.


But, it's not on Amazon. I guess it'd have to be a special order.

Anyways, there's an interesting site called: grandparenting.org

Mostly oriented towards being a good grandparent, but also talking about the importance of grandparents to families and how to create good relationships.

10:21am: No music for me.
Blah!

I can't get any streaming music to work. Suddenly, my faves, Swissgroove and Radioparadise won't work from Shoutcast.com, or even from any of the options from their home sites. Has something been disabled by the Red Hat people? Soooooo frustrating.

Oh well, back to my portable cd player.

1:16pm: Used clothes
Found this looking for a place for my aunt to sell her tailored '70s clothing...

Rag Picking for Gold
HighGrader gets the skinny on vintage clothing
by Brit Griffin HighGrader Magazine Summer 2002


I love consignment and used clothing. This is the best description of the industry I've seen. But will it change what I buy? Nah.
I've seen the inside of one of these sorting plants in Ottawa. It's true. Big bales of clothing, sorted by immigrant women. Almost
worked at that one for an Environmental Youth Corps job, but I wasn't sure how sorting clothes for a summer really contributed to
enriching my Env. Sci. degree.

Korea wears western-style clothes, and then sends the cast-offs to Thailand (Budding second-hand industry in Seoul, but nowhere else. Used
clothes carry the spirit of previous owners). Thailand sells cheap clothes to foreigners. I do mourn the loss of traditional clothing in the
world. Very sad. I hope the young find a way to rebel. If I wear pants and a button-front shirt, I'm wearing the modernised clothing from
my culture. Why should people from other cultures not wear modernised versions of their own? Where the variety? The textile-diversity?

11:47am: Grandparents
Guess what? Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt's went very very well. It's been years since I've had a positive interaction with her. I've seen her like that before, so I don't entirely trust her, because the interaction following that one was not so nice...Anyways, long story.

I did get to see my father's Dad, and Mom (who has dementia, and is always happy to see me, despite not knowing who I am). I always enjoy seeing my Grampa T. He's been good to me, but I've heard he and other family members don't get along so well. They complain he can be mean. He's shown me a lot over the years, like how to make stuff from stained glass (I have his equipment!) and just an appreciation for antiques, engineering and invention, and Asian art. But I want to know more about him. Little anecdotes like how when he was a kid they had pants with button flies (nope, Levi's was not the first!). As a joke, in class, his buddies used to kind of grab the material, and yank the fly of a fellow student (in line and about to see the teacher, of course) open. What a window into the man's mind. He seems so stiff, and yet...there is a sense of humor there. And a sense of vanity. Cause when he reached the dating age, he decided his name was not cool enough. So, all of my grandmother's family calls him by the cool name he adopted, just to get girls!

We also got to see my mother's Dad. He's had a stroke, and doesn't move well. But he can get around the house slowly. He also seems to have some trouble gathering his thoughts to speak, but he's all there when you talk to him. My dad got up from the kitchen table to pee. This reminded Grampa of when he was a little kid. He was so young that he still didn't know how to use a toilet. Had never even seen a man use one! Imagine the mess! Made me laugh.

So, I got to thinking. I'd love to ask more questions. Find out about their lives. Their thoughts. Their changes as they grew up. Life truths they've learned. I've been looking for a book on the subject. Well-phrased questions to stick on a card in my pocket and use as a cheat-sheet. The questions have to be asked naturally. By phone (cause they live far away), or in person. Or even by letter. And you know what? It's freaking hard to find a book like that! They're all about how grandparents can be good grandparents, or what to do with grandparents when the get old, or about little kids and grandparents. Well, heck, I'm 32 and want some guidance about interviewing my 80-something year old loved ones!!!! Dr.Ruth wrote a book. I've requested it from the library. But it's for kids. I'll let you know if it's useful.

Over the weekend, we also spent a lot of time with my dad's cousin. She's great! Been through a lot, and she understands some of the troubles we've had. And she's also been dealing a lot with the elderly, just as friends. She's upset because a lot of families don't seem to take care of their elders. Doing things like calling Grandma at the retirement home and telling her how they're getting the family together for thanksgiving dinner, and NOT inviting her, even though they live within an hour's drive!!! Something wrong with the communication in that family.

And I realized, there seems to be next to nothing in pop culture that encourages us to take care of our elders. NOTHING! How sad. I've had a lot of fun with my Grandparents. I'd like to spend more with them, but I live too far away. At least now I'm in the same country.

1:03pm: Medical care anyone? What are the Swiss up to?
I am currently not covered by any other medical insurance other than OHIP. OHIP is a kind of insurance provided by my provincial government. This allows me to go to the doctor or to a walk-in clinic. And to get various tests covered. But, at this point in my life, not much else. I'm pretty healthy, so, paying for additional insurance works out to about the same costs over a year as if I paid all my health costs myself. (Except of course for the $900.00 in dental work I had done recently....)

Now, as a grown-up, who isn't covered by benefits, I begin to understand some things about the reality of life. How precious health is. And how, even though they do pay for it, those who work for companies or goverments who provide benefit plans (which include health and dental insurance) are really quite lucky.
Cause the benefits are cheaper for them. I have chosen a different path, and will have to consider purchasing my own benefit plan next year when the income is better. I do like my job. And that too is precious.

But, no matter how precarious my situation may be, I'm still WAY better off than people in the USA who don't have a company benefits plan.

Why am I on about this? Well, I've had discussions in the past with various people, left and right-wingers alike, who are unsatisfied with the medical care system in Canada. And yes, it isn't perfect. But I always want to compare the situation here with Europe. And haven't gotten around to it. Guess what should arrive in my email, but the ScienceWeek alerts. And in it, a few points about how the USA should perhaps look to Europe for ideas for dealing with their medical system. BUT...the writer takes pains to say that Americans need not adopt the social structure (too commie?) of these foreign countries in order to improve their situation. What's this, an American thinking, ever so carefully, that perhaps there are other countries in the world who have good systems, and maybe even better systems than their own? Wow! (Perhaps it helps that Switzerland is used as the example. It's a safe country for the USA to admire, especially with such an active militia. The two countries have guns in common!)

http://scienceweek.com/2004/sb041008-4.htm (I don't know how to make the title of the article a nice link to hit, instead of showing the link. Later....)

Time to get ready for classes. More on that another day!

Bye!

10:33am: I'm wrapped up in a blanket....
It's cold today. Gorgeous and sunny. I'm avoiding working on typing up the minutes of a meeting at my Co-op where I live. But I'll get to it soon.
It's mid-morning, I'm listening to SwissGroove on Shoutcast (funky!) and allowing myself a bit of oral pleasure in the form of coffee. Didn't used to
like the stuff, but, well, now I do. So there!

The last week has been incredibly busy. But my honey and I managed to spend all day Saturday together. And just be. I loved it. We had to chase people
away, not check email (I was expecting a few emails which might annoy me...they didn't come, yay!), and so on. We just slept in, enjoyed each other's soft
skin, watched a movie, some comedy, a Sherlock Holmes (Jeremy Brett is the Best Holmes EVER!) and made chili. I'm looking forward to having 2 days together
soon!

Next day was busy. Bringing my potted plants (courtesy Mom) (thanks Dad) into my apartment for the winter. I've been avoiding gardening. Mom always makes it so complicated that I don't want to get into it. And yet, I'll make elaborate meals given the chance. It's all in the head. Anyways, the plants look good, but my place still has pockets of shambles which I don't like but can't seem to get to. Hmm. Feng Shui believers would say that illustrates my life at the moment. I'd say they're right. But, it's getting better and the stress level is going down.

Of course, disappearing this weekend for 4 days for Thanksgiving isn't going to help me get ahead in my projects, but it needs to happen. My honey, M., said I should forget all my stuff at home, and just have a nice trip. He's right, except I'm dreading the BIG DINNER. There's been some family squabbling over the years, and it might be a bit tense. I've wanted to tell my aunt off for years. And have never had the chance. But now I'm more experienced with life, and I'll hopefully just sigh and accept the fact that she and I are very different people. Oil and water. Fanatic and liberal. I suppose she has stuck to her values, and that should be admired. But she's just so mean about it!!!! Anyways, we need to keep the family communication going, so we'll be there. I'm looking forward to seeing my lovely Grandma, even if she has dementia and doesn't know who I am. Grampa is still with it, and I miss him. There'll be some other people my Dad and I will see on the way, which will make it all worthwhile. My other Grampa, my Dad's cousin....

Last Sunday was also a day to play games. My first ever games day at my place! First time I've had so many people over to my new apartment at one time. It was fun. Also my first time playing Risk, which I enjoyed way more than Axis and Allies. The latter was just too complex for my tired mind. Anyways, I hope we do it again some day, and we play Star Trek Trivia! I want to know if I really do qualify as a Trekkie!

Well, enough for now. Take care. Hopefully I'll have some philosophical thoughts next time. They're flying around my head, but won't be caught at the moment!

11:00am: Cool and cloudy
Maybe this is the problem. There's so much I'd like to write down that I don't write at all. When I was in Korea, I'd write about the neat stuff that would happen to me. Or around me. And, for everyone back home or in other countries, it was interesting because it was different. But, if I write about neat stuff that happens to me while I live here in one of the bigger (and prettier) cities in Canada, it's not so interesting. Unless I get personal. And I'm good at that, except I wonder if it's too much for some people to handle. And, I guess that's just too bad for them!

I just finished a Red Cross first aid course. 2 days. CPR on adults, children and infants included. Last time I did the training was 10 years or so ago, when
they were still teaching to put butter on first degree burns! (These days, just use cool water, for 15 minutes, to stop the cooking). And let me say, I was very
impressed with the equipment. Here's a pic and a bit about Dianne Croteau from Sudbury, the industrial designer who invented it! At $100 a mannequin, it's very
affordable. http://www.inventivewomen.com/library/library_diannecroteau_on.shtml

So, go get certified!!!! It's not expensive, and can be fun.

And now it's back into the tutoring, which is going pretty well. I've been focusing on Dyslexia, and ADD because I have to. But, this week I suddenly have to
learn all about NLD (non-verbal learning disabilities), cause one of my new students may have it. And, it's the opposite of dyslexia. A whole new ball game.
Of course, my boss isn't sure it IS NLD. I'd have to agree based on what I've read so far. We'll see...

On top of that, the housing co-operative (townhouses and apartments) where I live is having a big crisis about the maintenance by-law, and I have a lot of reading to do to be able to participate. Not to mention the minutes for last thursday's (it's tuesday now) Board of Directors meeting I still haven't typed up. Right now, I should be preparing for my next tutoring sessions, and preparing materials like the good teacher I am, and the better teacher I want to be.

So, I'd better get to it!!!!!

10:23am: Day One
Friday. A moment of slow, after days of fast. Body is saying, take it easy. Okay, so I'll start this journal.

Correspondence status: 600 emails I'd like to reply to.
Friends around the world I'd like to stay in touch with.
Flaky communications between email providers. South Korean versions don't seem to like to talk to Yahoo. Bounced email. Arghhh!

I'll stop here, cause I'm tired. Gotta be in the mood to let the words flow. Been reading articles on Gladwell.com. They're really good! I'd love to be
able to write like that. Those articles satisfy a need I have for solid reporting. The asking of real questions. Inspiring!